The issue of consent has become very much, the zeitgeist, but how can men know what’s acceptable contact, and what’s not on a first date?
Thankfully I have never come across a man that agrees with the entitled Trumpian view of women as pieces of meat that can be grabbed at will. Nor have I known a man who wouldn’t wretch at the thoughts of forcing himself on an unwilling female companion, however recent high-profile cases have raised the question of when is physical contact appropriate and is it necessary to take the element of romantic impulse out of every encounter to ensure both parties are 100% comfortable?
At Intro we organise every introduction, we don’t simply pass out phone numbers and hope people will connect, we go so far as to book the table in the restaurant and we call the following working day for feedback so having organised up to 100 dates per week over the past 8 years, you could say we have a pretty well-educated view of how to behave effectively on a first date.
Invariably the issue of physical contact comes up now and again, and while most men will hold off until at least a second encounter to venture a kiss or embrace, some eager beavers are a little premature in their advances. We find that generally women would rather get to know a man before they will consider it okay to get physical and they may find even an attempt to hold their hand a bit of an invasion. It may sound like an over-reaction, however, personal space is a precious thing and an uninvited intrusion on that space can easily be considered unwelcome. This is not always the case of course, some women will exhibit clear signs of attraction to their match on a first date and might even be disappointed if their signals are not advanced upon but in the interests of surety, we would advise erring on the side of caution.
You may think that asking for permission or simply notifying the lady of your intent to lean in for a kiss in advance might throw a damp cloth on proceedings however, you don’t need to draft a contract and any demonstration of respect for a lady will always be welcomed with open arms.