The dating game can be a challenge. In a world of hot-or-not dating apps it seems we have all been reduced to our ability to take a decent selfie. And while the fast and furious land of online dating makes it impossibly easy to meet new people, dating sites are not for the faint-hearted. I would challenge even the most confident of narcissists to emerge without a bruise or ten.
Dating takes a thick skin and often the fear of constant rejection, some delicate, some unbridled, can be enough for some to embrace singledom rather than run the risk of being burned. But as the dating landscape has changed, so too must our approach to it. It certainly is possible to date without fear.
Here are 5 ways of combating your fear of rejection:
Acceptance
Just like death and taxes, you can be guaranteed you will certainly encounter rejection in many different forms on a near daily basis. We all will. The sooner you come to terms with the fact that rejection in love is par for the course, the easier it will be to conquer your fear and venture back out into the dating world.
Don’t take it personally
The worst thing about rejection is not the initial sting or even the loss of the match, it is the residual effect it has on your self-esteem. The bottom line is that not everyone is going to find you attractive. Everyone is different and is attracted/attractive to different people.
Just because an object of your affection does not reciprocate, it does not mean you are not worthy, it simply means you are not suitable for that one person. Once you realise this, rejection will wield no power over your confidence and you can go forth and date knowing that you won’t get hurt.
Make a dating plan and stick to it
Irish Sailing Olympic Silver medallist Annalise Murphy said that even when things went wrong, if she did her best to get back to her plan, she succeeded. Rather than a swell or a change in the wind, expect rejections will happen and don’t let them knock you off course. Take each one on the chin and embrace the fact that each rejection brings you closer to your perfect match as you eliminate unsuitable matches and save yourself wasting valuable time on pointless dates.
Your plan might include signing up to some online dating sites, joining a dating agency, speed-dating or even taking up a new hobby. Commit to actively seeking out new people and going on dates with those you have a connection with. Your end goal being finding your perfect match and if you concentrate and follow your plan you will succeed.
Damage limitation
Save yourself time and knocks by focussing your attentions on matches that want the same thing you do, a real relationship. Avoid wasting energy on people that want affairs or one night stands by choosing the right places to meet like-minded singles. One of our most valuable dating tips is keep your search to paid sites and services. Free dating websites are rife with fake profiles, trolls and people looking for casual flings. Free sites employ very few checks and balances to ensure pests and abusive users are barred permanently.
If a user must input payment details they will behave in a more respectful way as they may be held accountable for insulting or inappropriate behaviour-this will greatly reduce your risk of being hurt by cruel rejections. What’s more, if a user is prepared to invest in their search for a match they are more committed to making a real connection. They are also more likely to be unattached as they will not fear the transaction appearing on credit card statements.
Refining your search to dating sites like www.arealkeeper.ie which are subscription based and aimed specifically at those seeking real relationships will limit your exposure to rejection. Virtually eliminate risk of rejection by joining a reputable introductions service like Intro Matchmaking. Intro organise each date and do feedback calls after the match so any rejection is handled by us gently and swiftly. As such, you will be well insulated from any harmful fall out from an unsuccessful date.
Mind your mind
Exercising regularly and eating well makes you feel happier, healthier and more positive. If you are feeling good then any adverse effect rejection might have will be significantly reduced. If you have a chronic self-esteem issue then tackle it head on with some counselling. Meditating helps reduce stress and improve well-being so a little mindfulness can go a long way towards getting you through the business of dating and into a real relationship, unscathed by rejection.
Whatever you do, do not hide away and allow fear of rejection to control your life. Be brave and go dating, it will be worth it in the end.