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November 11, 2014 |

The effects of online dating for your self esteem

At Intro, we offer professional matchmaking services for those dating in Ireland. We work tirelessly every day to ensure that we’re well aware of the different trends in dating and their impacts on our clients’ daily lives. Quite often, we meet with new clients who have previously tried online dating, but with minimal success. One item in particular that comes up is the effects of online dating on one’s self esteem.

Positive Effects of Online Dating

It’d be easy for us to simply state that online dating is awful and everyone should use our matchmaking services instead. Despite running an effective Matchmaking business, we readily acknowledge that there are some positive effects of online dating.

For example, receiving positive messages over a consistent time period can definitely increase one’s self esteem. The gratification that you feel by new emails and messages from admirers in online dating sites provides a lot of clients with a feeling of self worth and a marked lift in self esteem. It’s a great feeling knowing that people are responding to your pictures and profile information. This gets reinforced when those messages become interactions in the form of chats in the online dating environment.

Negative Effects of Online Dating

We’ve definitely heard our share of the negative effects of online dating. Very often it is exactly these negative experiences that lead clients to us. Online dating in Ireland is probably still behind the curve of other European nations, such as Germany, for example. It’s certainly not as conventional as it is in the United States and perhaps hasn’t always attracted individuals with a serious relationship intent in an Irish context. This might explain the growth phenomenon of ‘flirt’ oriented services, such as Tinder, for example.

Our clients often comment that receiving messages daily of individuals looking for short term, casual, or one night stands negatively impacts their self esteem. They begin to wonder if anybody out there wants them for more than a fling. As well, a number of clients begin to question their self worth when they send out a number of messages and receive not a single reply. They sometimes feel duped for having paid an online dating service with no results at the end of their subscription term.

“How do you achieve good self-esteem from online dating? Start with great self esteem!”

Speaking of self esteem, there was a significant US study done in 2009 that surveyed 3345 people that were using online dating. It actually found that those that used online dating actually had high self esteem to begin with. This may conflict with one’s thinking that online dating is a last resort and for those that can’t love in person. The study explained that those with high self esteem and who valued romantic relationships felt that they had nothing to lose through using online service. Coupled with what’s already been said here, we can’t help but paraphrase an old joke: how do you get good self-esteem on an online dating site? start with great self esteem!

If you’re feeling that the effects of online dating has been negative overall then please contact Intro for a much more personalized service. One that leads to positive dating experiences with others who share your relationship intent.