In 2015, let’s start the year off by slowing it down. We know, what a remarkable concept. Many want to start it off with a bang! They want to drop down a dress size, bulk up their biceps, be fluent in a new language, and much more. At Intro, we’d like you to try something different, when it comes to your love life. We’d like for you to take the view that dating is a marathon. You can’t just rush into it, it takes time, effort, and the ability to push through the obstacles.
Take your time
Prior to even considering finding your perfect someone, we want you to take your time. Too often, we jump into a relationship before even considering what it is that we want from a partner. Take your time to determine why it is that you believe that dating will enhance your life. Forget about societal and familial expectations, why do you want to be in a relationship? Until you can clearly answer this question, you shouldn’t be trying to even start dating.
Many people take the ‘all at once’ approach to dating. They line up a ton of dates and just rapid fire through them. We’re not talking about speed dating, where you pay to attend a singles event. We’re talking about planning a week of dates with a new person each night. You figure that you’ll just play the odds and might as well dive right in. You agree to be set up by family and friends. You reply to whomever messages you online. You even reconnect with an old ex. Intro prefers that you stop right there and pace yourself. How can you even consider who you like, if you’re meeting a new person so often? Take the time to date one person and get to sincerely know them before moving onto the next person.
Allow yourself time to practice
If you’ve been out of the dating scene for quite some time, you’re going to need some practice to get back into it. You have to recognize that your first few dates may be disasters, but that’s okay. These dates are merely there to set you up for future success. You have to work on your dating skills, especially, if they haven’t had to be exercised in some time. If you have a poor dating experience, then don’t beat yourself up about it. You can take some time to reflect on what you want to do differently in the future. We just don’t want you to give up after a few first dates. Simply view them as practice dates that’ll lead to some excellent one’s in the future.
Accept that obstacles may come up
You may be clear about what you want, be pacing yourself, and even forgiven yourself for a few missteps in the first few dates. Now you also have to accept that obstacles to finding the one may come up. You might fall really hard for someone only to have them be transferred to a new location, just as things were getting serious. You may face tragic events in your own family that cause your focus to quickly change to that from having a relationship. Obstacles are a natural part of life and the important part is that you work through them. The sun cannot shine every day, but if you push through the cloudy days, you’ll eventually see the sun again. When it comes to dating, you have to know that your partner won’t always be wonderful and that obstacles will appear. It’s about how you two work through the obstacles that’ll determine your relationship status in the end.
Keep the end goal in mind
If you’re clear about what you want, then you will get it. It may take some time for it come to fruition, but it will eventually happen. Feel free to alter your original dating goal, as time goes on. At first, you may have focused heavily on certain physical traits, but as you date others, you begin to realize those aren’t as important. Once you’re fully clear as to what you want, then keep that end goal in mind at all times. If someone doesn’t meet that expectation, then why would you lower your standards? When you’re feeling low and things aren’t working out, stay positive, and think about why you set that end goal in the first place.
Intro truly believes that dating is a marathon. Much like in a marathon, when it comes to dating, you need to take your time, pace yourself, allow yourself time to practice, accept that obstacles may appear, and to keep the end goal in mind. Soon, you’ll find yourself crossing that finish line of dating and enjoying a long term relationship.