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Prioritising the Qualities You Want in a Partner

January 5, 2015 |

One of the main aspects of our job as Irish matchmakers is to assist our clients in determining what they truly want. Some may have a greater emphasis on physicality, others on the career of their potential mate, and we’ve had clients request an individual with a particular astrological sign. There are those clients that arrive with a list of 50 plus qualities and those who simply state, “I want to fall in love.” As a key part of the Irish dating agency landscape, It’s our responsibility to help you recognize the importance of prioritizing qualities that you want in a partner. Prior to meeting with us, here are some thoughts on prioritizing the qualities that you want in a partner.

Visualize your potential future mate

Find a quiet space and take a few breaths. Allow your thoughts to quiet and focus on your future and whom you wish to share it with. Start with the feelings. How do you want this future mate to make you feel? Allow yourself to feel these emotions and allow them to wrap around you. Bask in that positive energy and then begin to formulate a physical being for those emotions. Let the image of who they are appear before you without judgment. You may very well surprise yourself with what you deem important. Prior to this exercise, you may have been only open to certain ethnicities, heights, hair colours, etc. When you focus on the feelings, this could very well change. Spend some time visualizing the adventures that you’ll have with this person. Once you feel that the exercise is complete, then sit down, and begin to write down and even draw the potential mate. This will be a great starting point for your work with us at Intro. Where we differ from the typical Irish dating agency is that we espouse and use a personalised matchmaking model. The preparation you do before meeting us will increase the likelihood of us finding a suitable match that’s right for you.

Determine what you’ve loved about previous partners

It’s easy to think of all the things that you want to avoid in a future mate (don’t worry, we’ll get there shortly). Instead of starting in the negative, let’s spend some time to determine what you’ve loved about your previous partners. Let go of the negativity and anger towards any of them and simply sit with the positive memories that you have. Write out a list of each of your previous partners and then write out the positive attributes of each person. The list for some may run short, but aim to at least write down one thing for each person. The attributes can range from what you liked about them or what you liked about yourself when you were with them. Once you’ve completed the exercise, then see if there are any similarities or what’s unique. This becomes your second piece towards prioritizing the qualities that you want in a partner.

Determine what you want to avoid

At Intro, you’ll find that we like to focus on the good times, but we know well that the negative times exist too. We will now do the previous exercise again, but this time we are going to limit our exposure to the negativity. We don’t want to traumatize ourselves by focusing on bad times. For each person, determine one and only one characteristic that you want to avoid in a potential mate. For some, it may be difficult to do just one, but force yourself to stay within this restriction. As well, you may look at some of the names and have nothing negative to stay at all. For this exercise, you do NOT have to write anything negative about them. Once you’ve completed the exercise, take some time to determine again if there’s any similarities or anything particular unique about the listed items. You’ve now created the third piece towards prioritizing the qualities that you want in a partner.

Sit in reality and determine your priorities for a future mate

Take a piece of paper and divide it into 4 sections. Within the first section, you will write all your dream qualities about this person. Within the second section, you will write down all the positive qualities from your ex partners that you wish to repeat in your future mate. In the third section, list those few items that you want to avoid. Finally, in the final section, you will reflect on all three of those sections and determine what are the qualities that you believe will truly be necessary for you to have with your future mate. The list may be short or long, it’s up to you.

When a new client seeks Intro’s assistance, one of the first step is prioritizing the qualities that you want in a partner. A dating agency will seek this information from you to varying degrees and then utilise it in various ways. As a Matchmaking agency, we find that rich information leads to better matchmaking results. Once we have your key information determined, we can then work our matchmaking magic and locate the perfect match for you. After completing the exercises listed above, get in touch with us!